Today we keep exploring the notion of education. I'd like for you to look at a classic in rock history, Pink Floyd's "We Don't Need No Education."
Take a quick shot at writing a response to the images and music in this piece. What does the video have to say to you? Any connections with the other readings you have done? Where is Raquel? Write four paragraphs. Start your introduction with an anecdote. Include an interesting quote in the second paragraph. Use at least one semi-colon in the third paragraph. Conclude with a startling last thought.
Sharing Writing
Take time to share your writing with your group. Provide some feedback. Use the following questions as a guideline (Allegheny):
***Be sure to read through the entire essay-and the draft workshop sheet-before you begin the critique.
1. Does the opening paragraph 'grab' you? Does it begin energetically, with plenty of active verbs? How else could it be improved?
1. Does the opening paragraph 'grab' you? Does it begin energetically, with plenty of active verbs? How else could it be improved?
2. a) State the thesis of this paper. Does it interest you? Why or why not?
b) Does the thesis effectively link the writer's personal experience with the text s/he has chosen? How could the writer improve thesis focus?
b) Does the thesis effectively link the writer's personal experience with the text s/he has chosen? How could the writer improve thesis focus?
3. a) Does the writer focus upon a pivotal incident (or incidents), and offer a thoughtful parallel with one of the texts we have studied? How convincing does s/he make the case for the linkage between the two? Suggest some ways in which the writer could strengthen the parallels.
b) How well is the comparison supported by quotations from the text[s]? Do you find these quotes well-chosen and relevant? Are they cited correctly?
b) How well is the comparison supported by quotations from the text[s]? Do you find these quotes well-chosen and relevant? Are they cited correctly?
4. Does the writer vividly and clearly describe the situation in his/her own life, making it come alive for the reader? Make some suggestions aimed toward a more lively personal account.
5. How could this essay be improved on the sentence level? Mark your copies of the draft, making specific suggestions to improve sentence structure and overall clarity.
6. Does the conclusion provide closure and offer an interesting final insight that helps you to understand the significance of the experience? How could the writer make it more effective?
7. Finally, shut your eyes and think about the paper. What did you get out of it?
A Word about Punctuation
Dependent and Independent Clauses
Comma Splices
Run-ons
Fragments
MyCompLab Diagnostic Results
Please write a one or two paragraph report regarding your diagnostic results. Point out which areas you plan on addressing and dates you expect to have them completed.
Remember that this Friday you are working on your educational experiment. Make sure to take copious notes. Bring those with you to class on Monday.
You will also have a peer review assignment in MyCompLab. Look for that and have it done by Monday as well.
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